Unwelcomed Epiphany

Go Figure.

Everyone else in this world is waiting on their epiphany and i dont want any! But low and behold they come. Just relaxing, listening to music and trying to drowned out the thoughts in my head.

All day ive had this wierd eerie feeling. It may have been from weekend events...but i just feel fake. which is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. I am a FIRM believer in OWNING who you are and what you do..no matter what it is, or what it makes you.

Any way..my epiphany is..im the other girl. always

The sad thing is..ive known it..i just opted to play it cool and not care..because " i dont want anything serious anyway right now, and this is fun" that was my pep talk

But this damn revalation wont stop haunting me. And i cant help but be discusted in myself noticing how i want it to go away so i can go on doin what i do. At work, the gals will tell stories of things their signif others do for them and im floored and saddened that little things that men SHOULD do for people they care about...really throw me for a loop and i think to myself...guys dont really do that..those guys must be tools...haha but really..im the one with the tools.

* Im the most girly girl youll ever meet, yet i manage to have a freakin BOB VILA COLLECTION OF POWER TOOLS. *

Some one smack some sense and self confidence in me WOULD YA.! I never thought i would miss the infamous..."Tiffany Bridgett!!!!! scolding tone my mom use to scream at me from the bottom of the stairs when i mouthed off.

so...

TIFFANY BRIDGETT!

:)

Re-live-Jun confessions

I cant help but notice the amount of religion talks ive gotten into lately. If you know me at all, you would know i dont really like to bring up what i believe..not that Im ashamed or anything..but my tactic is more build a relationship with someone, earn their respect then, at the right time, IF IT COMES introduce them to my view on God...if, of course..they want it

To be honest tho..

Sometimes IM not even sure what my view is. I mean the fundementals have not changed...dont be alarmed. But i have met too many people, experiened too many things after college to keep my view on God as this being who says DONT do that, DO lots of this, and IF you do that, your life is ruined.

All i can say is God is love. God is friends that you have had since 4th grade that NO MATTER WHAT have your back. God is the person in the drive thru that pays for the person behind them and drives away with no recognition. God is loving someone, even ADMIRING someone that lives in a way that goes against what most christians or catholics say is right. God, to me, is is liking someone that is open about their flaws, who is IMPERFECT and proud of it. God is when you cry over the scene you saw on the news that has no importance to your own life. God is your neighbor that brings you dinner all the time when he can barley provide for his own family. God is spending money on Dog food and lil dog sweaters when you cant even buy groceries for yourself...

To me, God is found in my imperfections and thats where we are most loved at.

To you:

sometimes i just want to scream, you are no better than i because you sustain from things your mother told you not to do when u were 16. Its ok to live, to fail, to make mistakes, to hit rock botttom. Infact, thats when I felt most loved and most myself. Meet people. explore their views. Be open to improve yours. Not all people are heathens. Love them.

To you:

believe what you want. i love that you do. if everyone believed the same thing...ick i cant even imagine. makes me feel suffocated. I like listening to your views and like that you ask me about mine. I wont judge u and thanks for not judging me.

To YOU:

I'm still here. Let me introduce myself.....