Which i hate btw..i've noticed..as well as all the roomates i have ever had in my life, that i hate quiet. I need music or tv to fall asleep to, because id rather fall asleep to the thoughts of problems in someone else's life...like maybe Rosanne..(guilty pleasure) rather than my own. Probably not enough of a wierd problem to really worry about, but still there, looming. I shall keep an eye out on it.
N E WAYS..
Its wierd to me that Tiffany from a year ago..is TOTALY different than Tiffany today. Its like i could have an outta body experience with it. Well call the earlier tiffany "Bridgett" and the later tiffany shall remain as Tiffany..you follow? lol
All about Bridgett- perfect(or tried) slightly judgemental. people pleaser...small minded. But she had no idea.
Tiffany on the other hand- well, for fear of reading eyes..lets just say shes not any of those things that embody Bridgett.
Now i cant decide who makes me more happy.. Right now i appreciate the fact that i know a lot of different kinds of people and situations and love everyone for it. Ive learned so much from Chicago and the freaks in it (whom i happen to admire) but have i lost bridgett? and if i have..is that ok?
Unfortunately for me, im an extreme person. (Scorpio) I cant be a perfect hybrid of Tiff and Bridgett.. moral or rebelious..i choose one or the other because even keel makes me feel inadequate.
I appreciate Tiffanys zest for life, love for ALL ppl no matter what, and willingness to try anything and accept EVERYONE.
I miss Bridgetts innocence, her faith in the male species and her endless supply of confidence to stand up for what she believes in.
In college i didn't do nearly any of the things i wanted to do, things that come naturally to me..why? i wanted to please my friends, God, and bridgett.
Today, all i want to do is try things, experience life, and not think twice about guilt and consequences (had enough of that via college) am i valid in that? or acting like a crazy teen?
Today, i do what makes me happy, for the most part, and SOMETIMES feel guilty about it. Problem or rightfully so? I'll deal later
